Far-fetched idea for LHH outfielder

Speculation abounds the Phillies may be seeking to add a left-handed hitting outfielder with a short-term contract. Traditional avenues are waiver claims, trades and free agents.

Well, here’s a ground-breaking avenue, free ancients.

Yep, Phillies Alumni who have played right field and batted from the left side. Definitely an untapped market. Definitely far-fetched. Hey, the contracts would be short-term but would have to include a Laz-y boy recliner in the clubhouse.

An imaginative fab five:

Bobby Abreu. A two-time All-Star during his nine years here (1998–2006). Compiled a .303 average. His .416 on-base percentage would be welcome, he knows right field at Citizens Bank Park, is just 42 years of age and last played in 2014 for the Mets. Played for the Mets? Ugh. Sorry, Bobby.

Jim Eisenreich. A platoon bat in right field who hit .324 in his four years (1993–96) here. Popular member of the 1993 whacky bunch of misfits that conquered the hearts of Philadelphia by winning the pennant. Earned $1.2 million his final Phils year so he fits the budget. He’ll turn 58 in April. How much rest will he need between at-bats?

Von Hayes. First of nine seasons here was 1983 when the “Wheeze Kids” (nickname for an old team) won the NL pennant. He was 24 and the only regular under 30. Played here through 1991; .272 hitter, 232 doubles, 202 stolen bases. Can play LF, CF, RF, 3B, 1B. Nicknamed “Stick” because of his lanky lean frame. At 58, can Stick still swing the stick?

Bake McBride. Four very productive seasons (1977–80) as the regular in right that culminated with the 1980 World Champions. Batted .292 including in five-plus seasons here. Strikeout high for a season was 77 which would be the lowest among the current starters. Can Bake and Shake still rake? At 67 years of age perhaps he may be too ancient.

Jay Johnstone. Another five-year guy in a Phillies uniform (1974–78). Mostly used in a platoon situation which would still work. Hit .303 for the Fightins’. Won the pre-game smash-the-watermelon contest while blindfolded, plus a cow-milking contest. Jay has multiple skills. At 71, can he still milk cows? A comeback could earn him the Medicare Player of the Year and a lifetime supply of Geritol.

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